1 Month Old!

Mr. Miles turned 1 month old on Friday, and he is such a different baby than the one we brought home!  He's still extremely alert, and insists on being held so that he can see the room and everyone in it.  He holds his head up way more than expected, and is a milk drinking machine!  We love seeing him have a fun time on his play mat, and make happy squawking noises at us and the ceiling fan.

Miles is also a healthy, growing boy!  His pediatrician visits have gone well, and the doctor is very pleased with the rate that he is gaining weight and length.  He's gained two pounds since leaving the hospital 4 weeks ago, and has already outgrown most of his newborn clothes.  He is in the 70th percentile for height, but only 40th for weight so he's shaping up to be a long and lean baby (so far).

It hasn't been an easy month, though, and we never know if we're going to have a good night with 1-2 quick feedings or spend 90 minutes trying to feed and calm an angry infant at 3am.  He can be very gassy and difficult to soothe, and requires lots of bouncing and constant movement when he's unhappy - no cuddling on the sofa for us!  It seems like some days we spend most of his awake time trying to get him to stop crying and go back to sleep.  However, things seem to be getting better and we're looking forward to the weeks ahead when everyone insists that it gets easier.

We've had lots of visitors this month, and Nick and I are super grateful for all the help and food.  We'd be eating a lot more sandwiches if not for our wonderful family and friends!

Some more tidbits about Miles at 1 month:

• He can go from furious to smiling in the same minute.  When upset, he straightens his body like a board or furiously kicks whoever is holding him -- not fun for a Mama with a c-section scar.
• Speaking of kicking, it's pretty much his favorite thing to do.  He likes to lay on his back and kick his legs really fast and laugh, which never gets old to watch!  However, he's not a huge fan of tummy time and never makes it more than 3-5 minutes before throwing a fit.  Admittedly, we've not been the best about enforcing the 30 minute per day goal because the resulting fits can go on for over half an hour and it's not worth it.  He doesn't spend much time at all on his back aside from sleeping, so we'll keep working on it but he's not in danger of getting a flat head.
• This kid can chug a bottle, and we've had to switch to a slower flow nipple to keep him from drinking all the milk in 2 minutes (he drinks a bottle of pumped milk at night to save time and let Nick help out)
• Miles is obsessed with his hands, but whacks himself in the face a lot.  He can escape from every swaddle blanket we've tried, and at this point we will happily pay for a real baby-sized straight jacket to keep him from waking himself up so much.  (If this is not yet available, I will invent it and give it a stupid name like the Cozy Pod)
• Maggie has been a wonderful big sister, and wants to know where the baby is at all times.  She sits by his bassinet and makes sure that nobody steals him while we eat dinner and keeps me company during night feedings.  Charlie, on the other hand, is not adjusting well.  We aren't sure that he realizes that Miles is a person and not a toy that Nick and I are not sharing, but he has snapped at him (not aggressively, it's odd) and is not allowed near the baby.  We aren't sure what to do, but will be consulting a trainer soon.
• Nick is an amazing baby soother, and Miles loves to lay on his lap and sway.  It is apparently not the same at all when I do it, and my attempts are unacceptable and deserving of an angry kick to the belly. 

Hopefully I can manage 11 more posts like this one, so we'll have content for a baby book one day! 

P.S. If you have an Apple device and want to be added to my Miles photo stream, just let me know.  I try to keep the picture sharing on Facebook to a minimum so as not to be "that lady" cluttering up everyone's feed. (You need to have iOS 7 installed to receive the invitation)

Miles the Model: Newborn Photo Session

When he was 8 days old, my sweet friend Maryam came over to photograph Miles.  I'm so in love with these pictures, and wanted to share a few of my favorites:

 This cradle was made by my late Papa Curtis - I'm so thankful that we still have it

 Gig em!

 Tiny, old man feet with huge big toes!

 My favorite picture, because he always looks at us like that

 Fightin Texas Aggie Class of 2036!

Nick wore this outfit during his newborn photo session in 1982 - Miles was not impressed.

25 Days: Thoughts on Motherhood

I wanted to share some of the things running around my head after 25 days in the trenches.  I think some of you may relate, or have advice to share, or just appreciate a peek into what it's like after one of the biggest life changes we'll ever experience:

• For those who don't know, Baby Miles ended up being a c-section delivery after 13 hours of labor that stopped progressing.  He was stuck and not able to "drop" like he needed to, and despite lots of pitocin, my body basically said "eff this" and stopped having strong contractions.  If this had been olden times, one or both of us likely wouldn't have made it, which is really strange to think about.
• I was terrified of a c-section delivery, and it ended up being fine.  No pain, and about 25 minutes from start to finish.  The recovery is no party, don't be mistaken, but it's not the ordeal I was envisioning after reading scary blog posts from people who are either really dramatic, or perhaps facing some unusual circumstances.  So, if you end up in my shoes, don't freak out.  That said, it is major abdominal surgery and perhaps the only kind that you don't get to fully relax after having.  Take advantage of all offers of help, and don't feel bad about leaning on your partner or family to do all housework and fetch you things as you recline on the sofa and let your body recover. 
• I had no idea what sleep deprivation was like until now.  We live in 3-4 hour increments between feedings, and my nighttime sleep comes in a series of 2-3 hour naps.  I am slowly getting more used to it, but I'd say that 90% of the time I could lay down and fall asleep if given the option.
• Up until the end of last week, I'd say I definitely had a bad case of the baby blues.  I was constantly on the verge of tears, and felt totally overwhelmed by breastfeeding and learning to soothe a crying baby.  Now that my hormones have leveled out a bit and we've started going on walks and venturing out for short trips to places not packed with people, I feel so much better.  
• In other news, a used copy of Happiest Baby on the Block is the best $5 I spent preparing for this child.  

• Probably one of the biggest adjustments for me has been being mostly home bound.  I often have no reason to get dressed, but make it a point to put on fresh clothes and take a long bath or shower every day.  I know lots of moms go on about not bathing or changing clothes covered in bodily fluids, but the old me is not dead and that is where I draw the line.  That said, I never thought I'd spend so much time in leggings, cardigans, and nursing tanks.  It was a big deal to finally put my maternity skinny jeans back on this week:

• Yes, I'm back in maternity jeans (if I'm venturing out in public).  I don't look normal yet, and wasn't expecting to after 3.5 weeks, but am anxious to see how many of these extra inches I'll need to burn off once I'm allowed to exercise.  Although I wasn't delusional, it's really hard to come home with a body that doesn't look or feel like your own when everything else in your life is different, too.  However, this little face is worth every stretch mark and extra pound:

 photo by Sweet Violet Photography

• I was pretty up front about my dread when it came to breastfeeding, and I'm sad to say it was totally warranted.  I wanted to love it (and during easy daytime feedings, I do) and was hoping it would come naturally, but it's been an uphill battle for which I was only semi-prepared.  I think that hospitals and care providers walk a fine line between scaring new mothers away from trying, and allowing them to have unreal expectations when it comes to the level of work and skill needed to be successful.  I ended up somewhere in the middle - expecting it to be hard but still shocked at how consuming it is.  You see, breastfeeding is a skill, and it has its own jargon and techniques that you will quickly learn as you do it every 3-4 hours for weeks on end.  I probably think about how great it will be to quit at least 15 times per day, especially since it forces me to be solely responsible for feeding the baby unless I've pumped milk for my husband to offer in a bottle.  It's tough for a couple used to equal division of labor, especially when one party is an emotional mess and accustomed to being good at things.  However, I'm going to give it another few weeks in hopes that we'll hit our stride before I switch to pumping, and I'm proud that we're still nursing exclusively and that Miles is growing like a weed.

Wow, that was a lot of thoughts!  I'm sure I'll look back on this post and laugh one day, but this is where my brain is at the moment. 

Any advice for us, parents?

Photo Dump: Weeks 1 & 2

I like to take pictures of Miles :)

The Birth Story

While it's still fresh on my mind, I want to record what happened on the day Miles was born so that we have it for later when the details will have escaped me.  Read on if you want to know how everything went.  In a nutshell, the birth was not as planned but still wonderful. 

//////////////////////////////////

Although he was originally due on March 11th, Mr. Miles apparently enjoyed his accommodations and decided to stay put for another week until I was scheduled to be induced on the morning of March 18th.  We were originally going to have him the day before, but too many people elected to have St. Patrick's Day babies and the hospital was full.

Nick and I left our house a little before 7am, and it was so strange to think that we'd come home as parents and trusted to care for a baby.  We arrived at the hospital at 7:30, and rode up to the Labor & Delivery floor with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and his wife.  She was far more dressed up for the occasion than I was, but Tony looked like he was about to go take a nap in his warmup suit and armload of pillows.  Nick didn't recognize them, but when we arrived at the desk they were whisked away while we had to sign some forms.  That was the last that Nick and I saw of them, but apparently their son was born across the hall a few hours before Miles.  

Once we got settled in the labor room, I put on a stylish gown and met the nurse who'd be attending me that day.  She began to set up my IV for pitocin, but it immediately began to go poorly since I have terrible veins in my arms.  She ended up calling another nurse, and eventually the nurse anesthetist who wrapped my arm in hot towels in hopes of getting blood vessels to expand so they could get a tube in.  90 minutes later on the 8TH TRY (the last 4 without lidocaine), and 4 blown out arm veins, I got my IV.  By this time, my doctor had come and gone, and she wouldn't be back until noon to break my water, so we got the drugs going and sat around waiting for something to happen.

 It hurts when your veins burst

The next few hours consisted of me reading magazines and watching TV while Nick sat in an uncomfortable recliner and my parents came in and out to visit.  Definitely not like you see in movies.  The nurse showed me that I must have a really high pain tolerance, because the contractions were getting strong and close together but I was only mildly uncomfortable.  This was shocking to me, since I want to pass out when I stub my toe or cut my hand.

After lunch, my doctor returned and found that my body wasn't making any progress so she broke my water (OMG painful!) and increased the dosage on the pitocin.  The next few hours were more uncomfortable than the morning, but I found that I could bear the pain if I breathed through it and focused on the Arrested Development episodes we were watching on Nick's computer.  I didn't like the idea of being unable to walk to the bathroom, and never felt truly miserable, so I declined the epidural for the time being.

In the late afternoon, the nurse announced that I was still not making much progress towards 10cm and that Miles had yet to drop down as far as he needed to go for things to get moving.  I realized that we were probably going to be there a lot longer, so I decided to go ahead and get the good drugs in hopes that it would speed things along.  The epidural wasn't fun to receive, but it certainly wasn't painful and I was silly for waiting.  The next few hours were spent laying on my side talking to my family, in no pain whatsoever.

Late in the evening, the nurses found that I still had not made any progress and had been at 4cm (out of 10) since early afternoon and my doctor planned to return at 9pm, but it looked like a c-section was likely because Miles' heart rate had been fluctuating all day and they thought he may be in a poor position.  My doctor confirmed their suspicions, and I began freaking out because I had not really mentally prepared for the possibility of a cesarean birth.  I think I asked for an explanation of what would happen from 3 different people, all of whom patiently explained it to me, and I was quickly prepped for the 25 minute surgery and wheeled to the operating room.

I got additional medicine through the epidural port in my back, and went completely numb from the waist down.  I could feel pressure if someone touched me, but no pain from being pinched or poked - it was such an odd feeling!  I am the sort of patient who asks ninety "is this normal?" questions, and proceeded to do that up until the big moment when my doctor announced that they were about to remove the baby.

Those thirty seconds felt really long, and all I wanted was to hear a cry and see my little boy.  Then I heard him (he sounded sort of like a little goat) and the nurse held him up over the draping so I could see him for a second before he went to the little baby station/warmer about 5 feet to my left.  There he was wiped down, and his nurse was busy sucking fluid from his nose and mouth for a few minutes while Nick looked on and I watched from the operating table until my neck muscles started to hurt.  At this time, the doctors let me know that Miles had been face out, and turned toward my right hip bone in the womb, so there was little chance that traditional labor would have been successful.  My day of contractions only succeeded in pushing his head into a space where it wasn't going to fit and he had a pretty epic cone head when they pulled him out.

Once an abnormally large amount of amniotic fluid was suctioned from his belly, my little guy was wrapped up and brought over to me so I could touch him with my hand that was not all tingly and give him a kiss while he laid on my chest for a few minutes.  Best moment ever.

While the doctors finished putting me back together and discussed their favorite places to ski, Nick and Miles went back to our labor room and waited for me to get wheeled back.  About 20 minutes later, I joined them and got to hold my baby and just stare at him, and he stared back at us.  Then it was fun to see my parents get to hold him and fall in love, as well.

Around 12:30, we were brought upstairs to our postpartum room, and got settled in for what would be a few days of recovery.  The nurses had me up and walking to the bathroom on my own late the next morning, and Miles and I began our struggle with breastfeeding and received visits from my mom, my sister, and my cousin Jaclyn.  I was in a good bit of pain until we found the right mix of medicine that wouldn't make me throw up a bunch of water on my child (this happened - it wasn't fun)  Our second night was pretty awful and screamy, and we didn't get much rest, but that is apparently very normal and things got better as the week went on.

On Thursday, we had a visit with my friend Leah and her son John (he is 40 days older than Miles) and had what seemed like 50 visits from various nurses and hospital staff needing signatures and verifications for eleventy billion things.  It was really hard to get rest!  Miles also ended up needing a procedure to suction even more amniotic fluid from his belly, since it was making him spit up all the milk he was getting and we were already having a hard time keeping him awake long enough to take in enough.  However, I was feeling much better and our little guy started doing well that evening when I began pumping milk for him to drink from a syringe while we worked on our latching and positioning skills (tough to do with a c-section incision).

On Friday morning, we were cleared to go home, and set out for Irving and the next chapter of our lives!

Miles' Nursery is done!

I know I've been promising nursery photos for a while, but it turns out that photographing a room is a lot harder than it looks.  Especially when you don't have time to edit the images when you're done because a certain small person enjoys eating every three hours and you like snuggling with him the rest of the time.

However, Baby Miles is currently napping, so here are the best of the photos I have.  I hope Miles likes this room as much as we do!

The room turned out pretty much exactly like I pictured it in my head, and I think it will grow with Miles as he goes from baby to toddler to little boy (I don't even want to think about that!)

In case you're interested, here's a list of where most everything came from (starting with top photo):

Rugs USA Homespun Trellis Rug (wait for a sale!)

La-Z-Boy Impulse Rocker

Argington Bam Crib (I bought mine used)

Society6 Pillow

Marvel Art Prints (ours are 5"x7") 
Nate Berkus for Target Wall Studs
Nate Berkus for Target Lamp Base 
Hey Y'all! print by Stephanie Creekmur via Etsy
Threshold Grayson Grommet Window Panel (with blackout liner) 
Green/white quilt made for me by my great-grandma in 1983
Sunburst mirror frame (the mirror broke) via Global Views warehouse sale 
Ikea Stockholm Mirror
Changing Pad Cover by BLVD67 via Etsy
Vintage dresser via Craigslist, painted with Olympic Mermaid's Tail 
American Folklore map print by William Gropper, cut to fit collage frame from Target
Walnut toy chest made for me by my late Papa Lonnie
Elderly dachshund is vintage, find similar via All Texas Dachshund Rescue 
Awesome pit/pointer/lab/mystery mix via SPCA Dallas 
Studded initial via Hobby Lobby
Texas A&M bunny via Build a Bear


And just for fun, here are a couple of photos from this week.  I think my kid is pretty much the cutest ever!  ;-)

The Final Countdown!

I am officially tired of being pregnant.  

Luckily, it's almost over!  I will hit the 40 week milestone on Tuesday, and if Baby Dillon does not make an appearance on his own I will be induced early in the morning on the 18th (at 41 weeks).  Since going to work wears me out, and sitting in a desk chair all day is uncomfortable, I decided to begin my maternity leave on the 11th and just enjoy any additional days off before things get crazy.  I've got big plans for a pedicure, a movie and a big coke Icee, a new novel, and some naps - but if they get ruined by a tiny, screamy little boy, I'll be ok with that too!

I've never taken more than two weeks off of work, so the prospect of being out of the office until June 9th (when I come back for a 20 hour week, then full time) is pretty exciting, although I know it will be far from relaxing.  Thankfully, my company has been amazingly supportive and everyone is excited about the baby - I know I am very fortunate to work somewhere with great family-friendly benefits.  

And since everyone asks, yes we finally finished the room!  I haven't been able to photograph it properly yet, but you will all see it soon.  I hope Baby Dillon enjoys spending at least a couple of years there (maybe more)!

////////////////////////////////

Although I've done a terrible job of tracking everything, here's my final pregnancy questionnaire:

How far along? 39 weeks, 5 days

Total weight gain/loss:  About 30 pounds, lots of it fluid in my feet and hands and legs.  I even have swollen knees... it's not cute or comfortable.  I basically wear Converse every day.

 
Sleep:  Not great - my pillow fort helps a lot, but I still wake up a few times per night because I'm uncomfortable.
 
Best moment this week: Finally finishing the room, and feeling like we have most everything we need to bring a baby home. 
 
Movement:  Lots of hard kicks to my upper abdomen, and poking on my right side (from an arm?)
 
Symptoms:  I am so very tired, and I have pretty much all the usual pregnancy complaints.  It's not fun anymore.
 
Symptoms I DON'T have:  My belly button hasn't popped out, so that's cool I guess. 
 
Food cravings:  Nothing new, just really hungry all the time.
 
Gender:  Boy!
 
Labor Signs:  I have the occasional contraction, and was 2 cm dilated at my last appointment.  Hopefully that results in a baby this week!
 
Belly Button in or out?  In!  So glad it never popped - here's hoping it stays that way.

What I miss:  Being comfortable and able to stand up easily
 
What I am looking forward to:  Holding my baby and seeing what he looks like!
 
Weekly Wisdom:  I am trying to focus on how fortunate I am to have had a healthy, uneventful pregnancy rather than how much it sucks to be 9 months along.  I decided it won't do me much good to be terrified of labor, so I'm going to trust that the hospital staff knows what to do and hopefully come through it (relatively) unscathed.  I'd still like some prayers, though!